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Anthropology of Marriage (3) Much of the problem we are facing as a nation today is due to our civil law allowing divorce for any reason. We read of harems in the Middle East and think how barbaric for a man to have two or more wives at one time. However, we have men going from one wife to another to another and so on. This created two women often competing for the man’s attention and money. Jealousy between the various children and step children often results from having a step mother or step father. Then there is the resentment toward the man or woman that is taking their mother or father’s place. Going back to Genesis 2 we also read of man leaving his father and mother and being joined to his wife; the relationship between the son or daughter changes when they enter a marriage. The parents must realize and accept this change. This principle is stated in Ephesians 5.31, "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This can be a difficult situation when the newly married couple needs advice and or financial help. The older women are told to teach the younger women in Titus 2. This teaching would include the mother and mother in-law. At the same time the mother or mother in-law must not meddle in to situations they are not wanted. The husband is to be the head of his own household. In various passages we see where the husband is to provide for his family, 1 Timothy 5.8; love his wife as he does his own body, Ephesians 5.28; nourish and cherish his wife, Ephesians 5.29; the husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church, Ephesians 5.25. 1 Peter 3.7 instructs the husband to dwell with his wife with understanding and honor her as the weaker vessel. Unfortunately some men believe that as head of the household they have few responsibilities to communicate with their spouse and children. Such is contrary to what is described in the Bible. At the same time the wife has her responsibilities. Just as the husband is to cleave to his wife, she is to cleave or be joined to her husband. This involves more than the sexual union but a joining together of two lives. Learning to live and work together, to have common goals and purpose in life, to rear their children. After Adam and Eve had sinned in the Garden by eating the forbidden fruit we read of Eve’s role in regards to her husband. "I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you." (Gen 3:16) Eve is the mother of all living people. Her role is to submit to the rule of her husband. This is often misunderstood by both men and women. If the husband is fulfilling his responsibilities and doing every thing mentioned in the above paragraph, the woman will not need to fear or rebel from his leadership. Also, she is to submit. The word "submit" means to yield to. The husband can not make his wife submit to his leadership. This does not mean she can not express her opinion or even her objection. This does mean that as long as the decision of the husband is not sinful, she should submit.Finally, the husband wife relationship is the second relationship we read of in the Bible. The first being man’s relationship with God. It is the marriage union that is compared to the church in Ephesians 5. If we do not understand God’s purpose and design for the home, we will truly understand the analogy made with Christ and His church. The husband is the head of the wife as Christ is of His church. There is one man for one woman, Christ has only one bride, His church. The husband is to give himself for his wife, as Christ gave Himself for the church. Sadly, as many have misunderstood God’s design for the home, they have misunderstood Christ’s church. We need to make sure our homes are functioning as God intended and we have the right relationship with Christ. D.T. |