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Being
A Dad Let
me acknowledge first off that I write this article with mixed emotions. This
will be the first “Father’s Day” that I will not purchase a Father’s Day
card. Dad’s birthday was June 16th and this will also be the first birthday
that I will not buy a card. We were blessed to have a good father and a great
dad for all these many years. However,
I want to write some things about being a Dad that may be lost on some men in
today’s society. The
Bible gives us instructions in how
to manage our houses and rear our children. “And you, fathers, do not
provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition
of the Lord. (Ephesians 6.4, emphasis mine D.T.). Too many fathers are AWOL and
their children suffer the consequences. I am not saying fathers are doing a poor
job or training their children, I am saying they are not even trying to fulfill
their responsibilities to their off spring. Due to the number of children born
out of wedlock many children are being reared only by their mother. However,
some men simply do not think it is their duty to rear their children. They are
busy playing games, working, hunting, hanging around with their buddies, and do
not make time for their children. A few years ago somebody asked me about my
hobbies. I mentioned I played golf a few times a year but my “hobby” has
been my children. Dad’s will spend time with their children. Fathers
will also submit to the needs of their family. Unfortunately some men think of
being the head of the family as being the dictator of the family. We are to
understand the needs of our children. There is a difference between their needs
and wants. Just as our Heavenly Father knows and provides what we need; we as
fathers should be in tuned with our families so as to know what they need.
This requires us to submit to their needs and not our wants. For instance, a
baby in the middle of the night might need a diaper change. A father could get
up and say, “I am the head of this house and it is time to sleep. So be quiet
until the morning and then you will get a diaper change.” Obviously this man
would be an idiot. Instead he submits to the needs of the child and changes the
diaper. Too many men are selfish and
not willing to sacrifice themselves for the good of their family. Dad’s
will provide the right example to their children. Most of what I learned from my
dad was by his actions. Fortunately
we had the farm to work on and this exactly what we did. We work on the fences,
in the hay fields, with the cattle, in the garden, cutting word, and whatever
else Dad could find to do. I learned that work was not a dirty word and if you
want to accomplish any thing you have to work at it. I also saw Dad’s example
of being a Christian. I was thirteen years old when Mom, Dad, and my brother
(Mike) obeyed the Gospel. Dad was not a Sunday morning only Christian and
neither was he a spectator. He lead in singing, giving invitations, leading in
prayer, serving the Lord’s Supper, and any thing else they asked him to do.
This he did despite having a 6th grade education. If Dad was a one talented man,
he used that one talent the best he could. He also let people know when they
were not living right or not acting by faith. Boys and girls need fathers to
show them how a Christian man lives. Dad’s
will discipline their children. By discipline I mean the whole gamut. There will
be times when a children needs a spanking. “He who spares his rod hates his
son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly” (Proverbs 13.24). For that
“rod” to be effective it must be timely and be done out of love. Punishment
that is done only sporadically will only confuse the child. They will not
associate the improper behavior with the punishment but with being unlucky. Love
is important for a child that realizes they are loved will feel secure. In a
world of uncertainty children need to know where they belong and they are loved.
Yes, my Dad gave us whippings but he also laughed and played with us. One of the
greatest joys I have with our children is the ability to talk and laugh with
them. Dad’s
will leave a lasting impression. In many ways we live on in our children. They
will carry our mannerisms on in their lives. They will exhibit the values we
have taught them. There are times that I realize the words I am speaking are the
same words my Dad spoke to me many years ago. We will have that effect on our
children. When
writing about my Dad I said he was the best dad a child could have. Someone
responded by saying they had the best dad. It is a blessing to have that feeling
and hopefully our children feel that way about us. D.T. |