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Divorce:
Crunching the Numbers The
Messenger-Inquirer ran an article on Possible
reasons for our county’s high divorce rate were the ease of divorce in our
state and the low cost of getting a divorce in this county.
It suggests that people from other states and counties may actually be
coming to This
got me to thinking about other numbers one can find on divorce. Since
2000 the percentage of people getting married has declined from 8.0% to 7.3%.
At the same time, the percentage of divorces has also declined from 4.0%
to 3.6%. While the number of
people eligible to get married has increased, the number of marriages has not.
Most interpret these numbers to show that people are electing to simply
live together and not get married. I
remember a few years ago seeing the divorce rate for different parts of the
country. The section of the country with the highest marriage rate was the
south. At the same time, the section
with the highest divorce rate was also the south.
It seems that people in the south understand that living together outside
of marriage is wrong, but they don’t remain in those marriages.
So
when do most couples get a divorce? It
is not within the first 5 years of marriage.
Eighty-two percent of couples see their fifth wedding anniversary, but
only 52% will see their fifteenth year anniversary.
The average first marriage that ends in divorce comes in the eighth year,
which suggests to me a couple of things. After eight years the new has worn off
the relationship and they are having their family.
The financial burdens of having children can stress out many marriages.
In fact most women that get a divorce will live below the poverty line.
If you want to increase your chances of living in poverty, get a divorce.
While they may be cheap to obtain, they are hard on one’s standard of
living. Are
you or am I doomed to get a divorce? Will
our children become a casualty to the numbers and get married only to divorce
later on? Let us go back to the
numbers to answer these questions. People
with an annual income of over $50,000 have a 30% lower divorce rate.
Getting a good education is a key to having a good job and income. The
more education one has the lower the divorce rate one faces. Young people do not
drop out of school. People that wait until they are 25 years of age before
getting married have a 24% lower divorce rate.
This can be a two edged sword since many of those waiting until they are
25 will “live” with some one outside of marriage.
As Paul wrote, it is better to marry than to burn with passion, 1
Corinthians 7.9; therefore, it is better to marry than be sexually immoral.
But those that wait have a better chance of remaining married. People
with strong religious beliefs have a 14% lower divorce rate than those without
strong religious beliefs. At the
same time, people that marry outside of their faith have a higher divorce rate.
Let me quote one source: “Vera
Lawlor, from The Bergen Record in Hakensack, NJ., wrote that
inter-faith marriages have a failure rate that is 50% higher than same-faith
marriages. She does not cite a source for this datum. Since the rate for all
marriages is on the order of 50%, this would imply an almost 75% failure rate
for inter-faith marriages - 3 chances out of 4.”
In the same article just quoted the author gives some ways an inter-faith
couple can increase their chance of remaining together.
The first way was to agree to go to the same church.
In my years of preaching I have seen this happen with Christians.
Most of the time the Christian winds up going to a denomination in order
to please his or her spouse. In
conclusion: I
am not saying every marriage will end in divorce, but we must not kid ourselves
either. In order to remain married,
both parties must be committed to God’s Law and each other.
That commitment starts with understanding what Jesus said in Matthew
19.4-6, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning made them
male and female. And said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and
mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?
So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.
Therefore what God has joined together, let not make separate.”
In order to remain together you must work out your problems and remain
faithful to God. Every marriage will
have its problems and its temptations, but leaving your spouse is not an option
unless they demand you stop serving God. Marrying
someone that is not a Christian is not a sin, but it does place the Christian in
a difficult position. 1 Corinthians
7.13-15 deals with this situation as well as 1 Peter 3.1-6.
You must provide the proper example to your spouse at all times.
At the same time, if your spouse decides to leave, you must remain
unmarried. (If the other person is unfaithful to their marriage vows, then
Matthew 19.9 applies.) Your best
chance to having a happy marriage is to wait until you are mature, able to
provide for your family, and marry a Christian.
– Dennis Tucker |