|
|
Question On Dating Couple Living In Parent’s House Editor’s Note: I am on an email list associated with other Christians. Some are preachers and some are not. Occasionally a question will be forwarded to the list for response. One person asked a question pertaining to a dating couple that was living with the parents of one child. They were not sure of why the boyfriend had moved into his girl friend’s parents’ house, but they wanted to know if there was any thing wrong with it. Below is my response. Dennis here with some thoughts on a couple that is dating, living under the same roof, and claiming to not be having sex. First, let us say they are not having sex. This can be difficult, for you do not say if one is a Christian and the other is not, if both are Christians, or both are not Christians. If both are Christians and they say they are not having sex, then I would believe them. That should not be taken to mean I would be OK with the situation. But we need to be careful of accusing them of doing something they are not doing. I have known a few situations where a couple (not living under the same roof) are accused of having sex, and then decide to go ahead and have sex. (If they are going to be accused of doing wrong they might as well as do wrong.) I would not get into the "are they or are they not having sex" issue. Why is the boyfriend in the house to start with? There may be a real reason for him being in the house. Has he been kicked out of his parent’s house? If so, why? Drug usage, profanity, obeying the Gospel are just a few possible reasons why he may have been forced out of his parent’s house. Each would say something drastically different concerning the character of the young man. I have known young people being told to leave their parents house because they obeyed the Gospel. If that is the situation then I could understand why he is there. Members of the church there may be able to help out and give him a place to live. Here are some real problems this presents. They are dating so they are attracted to each other. The sexual urge is strong and can be hard to resist, especially if they are around each other all the time. Does he have his own separate bathroom? If not and they are sharing the bathroom, then he may see her in various stages of dress. In other words, temptation will be there. Paul told Timothy to "flee youthful lust" (2 Timothy 2.22). I don’t know about you, but I tend to think that Timothy was a spiritually minded man. However, he was not above temptation. The best way to handle temptation is to get away from it. The mother should not fool herself. They should not be left alone in the house together. Is the mother/father able to be there when the couple is there? If not then other arrangements should be made. While people talk about the dangers of the "back seat" of a car the greater danger is in the parent’s house when Mom and Dad are gone.Teenage pregnancy studies have shown that most teens have sex at home and between the time of 3—7 pm. Why? Convenience. Parents letting their children be alone with a boy or girl at home are asking for trouble. Let's say they desire to have sex or are having sex. This will provide plenty of opportunity for them to do so. Short of chaining their doors shut or staying awake all night, the mother will not be able to keep them apart. Just because they are in "different rooms" does not mean they are not having sex. Young people can figure out ways to do what they want to do if they want to do it badly enough. In the promiscuous culture we live in today, most young people consider having sex outside of marriage as normal. The survey mentioned earlier also showed that most teens having sex did so at home while their parents were there (www.healthlink.com) Needless to say, having your child’s boy/girlfriend staying at your house is a recipe for disaster. The Bible says we need to be as wise as serpents and harmless as doves, Matthew 10.16—Dennis Tucker |