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RECIPE FOR A HAPPY HOME By Matt Foster
“Take two lives (one man and one woman), sift out all malice, immorality and conceit. Add a large quantity of undiluted love; mix it well with temper-ance and self-respect. Then pour in a full measure of purpose stirring vigorously with effort until compatibility is formed. After a few months pour into the pan of experience and allow to mellow into a happy marriage.” I do not know who wrote these words, but as I read them I thought what a good idea for an article. So I want us to take a look at some ingredients that should help to make for a happy home. In today’s society people are looking for happiness in all the wrong places. They seek happiness in wealth. Yet, money is one of the leading causes of divorce. Neither the abundance of money nor the lack of it can make a happy home. People seek happiness in pleasure, wisdom, fame and other things that can never bring true happiness. Happiness must be found from within and does not come from outward or material things. The first thing that is needed to have a happy home is LOVE. Love is the cement that will hold the home together. Love is said to be the “bond of perfectness” in Col. 3:14. There are too many broken homes today all because of a lack of love for their mate. How often do marriage counselors hear people say, “I just don’t love them any more”? I am sure there is a large variety of advice given in response to this. My response may be much different than what many marriage counselors might give. I would tell them to repent. People today have a misconception of what love is. They think it is some mere warm fuzzy feeling. Such has nothing to do with true love, that is mere infatuation. Love is seeking the other persons well fair even if, it means making a sacrifice for them (1 Cor. 13:5). Bible love is a command; not an emotion. We are to seek what is best for them and not what is best for ourselves. For example, notice God’s command in Eph 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it”. He loved the church so much that He sacrificed his own life for it. Notice, Christ gave Himself for those who did not yet love Him. “But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:8). Love is not necessarily a two way street; but it is commanded, whether or not that love is reciprocated. Also notice what Tit 2:4-5 says about the wife’s responsibility to love her husband, “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Love in our marriages is neither an emotion nor an optional matter; but are rather, commands from God. Let us have homes that are filled with love and they will be happy homes. A second ingredient needed in the home is TRUST. “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:11-12). What a joy and blessing it is to have a mate that you know you can count on to always be there for you. Someone you can share your inner-most secrets and thoughts with; never having to fear that they would use them against you or tell it to anyone else. A trusting home is a happy home. A happy home is a home where each member fulfills his or her God given roles. The father and husband will be the authority in the home. This can be seen in 1Co 11:3, “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” He is responsible for the spiritual training of his children (Eph. 6:4). The wife is to submit to her husband and care for the things of the home, which includes the occupants of the home. Notice what Tit 2:4-5 says to the wife and mother, “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Lastly, children are to obey their parents as we find in Eph. 6:1-3. When every member of the home fulfills their responsibilities it will be a happy home. A Happy home will be a home that has children in it. That is not to say that there can not be a happy home without them, but rather the happiness is more complete. Psa 127:3-5 says, “Lo, children are a heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them.” Homes are happiest when the children are loved. They should always feel that they are wanted and needed. They will return that love to their parents. I am saddened by all the un-happy children I meet. So many feel like they are unloved and are a mere burden to their parents. These parents miss out on much happiness, which comes from spending time with their children. Let our homes be filled with joyful moments spent with our children. The happiest of homes will be homes that have God in them. The most important factor in all our lives must be God. A home where both the husband and wife are dedicated Christians will be the happiest homes. They will both have similar goals and objectives for the home. Their main priority will be helping every member of the family learn God’s will and obey that will; so that when this life is over, they can all have a home with God. In such a home, you will find they are active in the work of the church and are always in attendance when the church assembles to worship God. Their service to God does not end with the work and worship of the church, but is and active part of their home. They will have family devotions to God. In such a home, it is not an unusual sight to see the family praying and studying the scriptures as a family. As someone well said, “the family that prays together stays together.” In this home, there will be a spiritual atmosphere. There will be no alcoholic beverages, cursing, bad literature, TV programs, music, nor any viewing of sinful material on their computers. Instead, you will find wholesome recreation provided that the whole family can engage in together. In this household, Christ will be recognized as the authority in all things. His word will be taken into consideration in all the decisions that are made. What ever has to be decided; whether it involves work, money, their residence, recreation, vacations or associations they will seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness (Mt. 6:33). A happy home is one that has peace residing in it. Many homes today are not at peace, but are in turmoil. The reason for this is simply because one or more individuals who make up the home are not Christians and follow not the will of God in the home. Because of this, Satan is tearing homes apart throughout our nation. Immorality is in our homes; instead, of God. Drugs and drunkenness cause so many problems for families. It is all too common for at least one of the mates in the home to commit adultery. There is selfishness being practiced rather than looking to the well fair of other family members. There is a lack of happiness in many homes simply because there is a lack of faith and love in the homes. I have always said that it is unwise for a Christian to marry a non-Christian. Many think that they can convert them or that they can remain faithful to God; even if, they can’t convert their spouse. Some are successful in this; but of course, many are not and wind up becoming unfaithful themselves. In this situation, where a Christian is married to a non-Christian, there will undoubtedly be times when the home will not be at peace, because of the conflict of interest. One is interested in his family serving God and the other is not. Consider the problems that will arise over attending services, giving to the Lord’s work, how the children will be raised or trained in regard to religion, how will the unbeliever by his attitude and actions influence the children, as well as, the believer. The homes that will be at peace and are the happiest of homes, are those in which all who make up the home are God fearing men, women, and children. A home where there is understanding will be happy. We need to understand the need for commitment in our marriage (Eccl. 5:1-5; Heb. 13:4). We need to try understanding the needs and wants of the other family members and follow the golden rule (Mt. 7:12). We need to understand that we, nor our spouse, nor our children are perfect. Therefore realizing the need to right our wrongs and extend forgiveness to those who wrong us (Jm. 5:16; Eph. 4:32). If we are understanding of others, then our homes will be much happier places. A happy home is a home that has hope. 1 Cor. 13:13 speaks of three things that abide – faith, hope and love. We have already talked about the need for love and faith in the home; but a home that will abide, needs to have hope, as well. There is great rejoicing in hope (Rom. 12:12). A happy home has members who have their hope in Christ (Col. 1:27). They have love for one another and this love hopeth all things (1 Cor. 13:7). The happy home is one that hopes for the best in life and gets it; because, they live the Christian life. The happy home hopes for blessings in their marriage and home life and get it; because, they live as God’s word directs them. The happy home has hope of a heavenly home with God. Where all the members of their family can dwell, with all the rest of God’s family, for eternity and will get it, if they live their life faithful to the end (Rev. 2:10). This is truly a recipe for a happy home. If you follow God’s recipe you will have the happiest home you could possibly have. |