|
|
Swift
or Slow to Hear and Speak The Bible contains many warnings
about the use of the tongue. Proverbs speaks of the gossip, talebearer, lies,
and other sins committed with the tongue. Coarse jesting, or telling filthy
jokes is mentioned in Colossians 3.8. Thou shall not take the Lord’s name in
vain is in Exodus 20.7. James 3 speaks of the power and destructive abilities of
the tongue. We are warned that for every idle word we speak we will be judged,
Matthew 12. At the same time we use our
tongues to glorify God, teach the truth, and rebuke error. This can lead to a
difficult question; one that I wrestle with from time to time. When should is
speak up and when should I stay quiet? Let us look at James 1.19, “So
then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow
to wrath.” Let me suggest some guidelines to help in knowing when to speak up
and when to be silent. Be
swift to hear. We need to listen before we start speaking. Often we get
into a conversation over the Bible and do not really listen to what the other
person is saying. Before we can answer an argument we must know what that
argument is! Don’t assume you know what the other person is about to say. You
might just be surprised. How many times did Jesus tell the people to listen?
Phrases such as, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear!" (Matt 13:9) or
"Therefore hear the parable of the sower” (Matt 13:18) were used to tell
the audience to listen. One reason we may not be having
beneficial conversations is because we are not listening to each other.
Listening takes effort but it can be done. One good rule I heard a number of
years ago is; can you tell the person what they just said? If you can not then
you are not listening and the conversation is doomed to fail. The same can be
said in reverse. When we can tell the person what they just said then we are
listening and hopefully thinking. We
are to be slow to speak. What does that mean? First, think about what you are
about to say. “Let your speech
always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how to you ought o
answer each one” (Colossians 4.6). The problem with speaking is it comes out
so easily. Often we say things without thinking about what or how we are saying
it. Second, choose your words wisely. “Therefore be wise as serpents and
harmless as doves” (Matt 10:16b). I can tell someone that those not doing the
will of God will be lost or I can tell them that all Methodist are going to
hell. Which one do you think will get the best response. More importantly, which
phrase actually addresses the issue of salvation? Third, think about when you
are having a conversation. (I will admit to having trouble in this area.) There
are appropriate times to have an heated discussion and inappropriate times to do
so. Are we embarrassing the person we are talking to because of the people
around? Many conversations are better off in private. Forth, what is my purpose
or what am I hoping to accomplish. Is it to state what I believe or to reason
from the scriptures. If we are making sure the other person realizes we do not
agree with something then a state of faith is enough. If we are hoping to make
them think and ask questions then we need to ask them what the Bible says.
Forth, stay on topic. Don’t get started on one subject and get sidetracked on
to another. This is some times called “chasing rabbits.” This will get you
know where and is a favor tacit of those wanting to avoid the subject at hand. Being slow to speak in the
conversation will keep us from making rash statements and taking
ridiculous positions on subjects. For instance, I may point out that
acappela music is authorized in the New Testament and not instrumental music. A
person may disagree and try to get me to say that all instrumental music is
wrong or if I can play a piano at home then I can play one at the church
building in worship to God. Such is equating apples to oranges. Do not make the
mistake to agreeing to the premise. Be slow to speak and think. Be
slow to anger.
There are times we may get angry but it should not be the first or second
response. Anger hinders our ability to both listen and think. The adrenalin gets
going, we raise our voice, and before we know it we say things that we should
not. Those with a weak argument often
resort to carnal tactics such as anger. We need to desire the truth enough to
listen and be calm. — Dennis Tucker |