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Dating So As To Have A Happy Marriage John 1.35-42 Introduction:
The passage out of John 1.38-39 shows
that we generally see what we want to see and we find what we want to find. The
same is true when it comes to dating and who we marry. I have been called into a
number of situations where the marriage was in trouble. The couple were
bickering and fussing; they could not get along. One of the problems was in
their dating and who they choose to date. Dating
is a relatively new process of finding a spouse. It can be fun or miserable; the
way to build a relationship or destroy relationships. I want to talk to those
that are either dating or about to date, those parents or grandparents that have
children or grandchildren that are dating or about to date. I)
Important To Keep In Mind A)
Some take dating too seriously too early – puppy love, infatuation, go
overboard and become possessive. B)
Some do not take dating seriously enough 1.
Make mistakes that will affect the rest of their lives 2.
You will marry someone you date. II)
Common Dating Mistakes A)
Dating someone that does not have the right to be dating, 1 Corinthians 7.1-2 1.
Do not date anyone that is married (bound to another). 2.
Do not date anyone that is divorced if you do not know why.
a. If they did not have a scriptural reason as given in Matthew
19.9 then they are
still bound to their spouse.
b. If they did have a scriptural reason then you will still have to deal
with the other person. B)
Getting serious about a boy or a girl instead of a man or a woman 1.
Marriage is for mature people 2.
A man takes seriously his responsibilities, a boy blames others 3.
A man wants a wife (helper, help meet –
Genesis 2.24) a boy wants a mommy.
a. Ladies you don’t want to be his mommy
b. Being a mommy gets old quickly C)
Dating someone that is abusive and/or possessive 1.
Are they verbally and/or physically abusive? It will only get worse. 2.
Abuse is not Biblical grounds for divorce. They may be a jerk and a creep but
they are still your spouse. D)
Dating someone that is drug user (alcohol, illegal drugs) 1.
A user will do just that, they will use you. 2.
There will also be the temptation to also become a “user” E)
Getting sexually involved, 2 Samuel 13.14-15 1.
If is sinful, Hebrews 13.4 2.
It is degrading to yourself, 1
Corinthians 6.18,19 3.
It almost ensures that your relationship will end in failure
a. Forgiveness is possible with repentance
b. But you can not go back and undo what you have done F)
Overlooking serious character flaws (thinking I can change him or her) 1.
Case of Samson and Delilah, Judges 14.2,3 2.
Flaws such as laziness, not being trustworthy, immoral G)
Blame others for your bad choices H)
Dating someone to rebel against your parents III)
Things To Look For A)
A person you want your children to be like, Ezekiel 16.44 1.
Your children will be like their parents in many ways. B)
A person that is a Christian trying to go to heaven 1.
Not just someone going to “church” but a true believer and follower of
Christ. 2.
How zealous are they in serving God? Do they want to be a deacon, an elders,
teacher, worker in the kingdom? How interested are they in serving God? C)
Someone that will recognize their responsibilities 1.
Will he work? 1 Timothy 5.8 2.
Will she be a homemaker? Titus 2.5 D)
How do they treat they mother/father, and friends 1.
They will treat you the same way E)
A modest individual, 1 Timothy 2.9-10 1.
Modesty – orderly arrangements, shamefacedness, decency, discreet 2.
Does she wear dresses with low backs, low cut in front, shirts that are short
and reveals the thigh? Are their shorts tight and revealing? How about him? 3.
You don’t want others seeing what only you have the right to see. F)
How about his leadership? 1 Corinthians 11.3) her submission (Ephesians 5.22) 1.
What about spiritual leadership? Self-discipline, ability to communicate, etc 2.
Only a godly woman will submit to her husband today. Conclusion:
Once you marry you must make it work,
Matthew 19.6. Can not run back to parents or just walk away from your
commitments. The beginning of any happy marriage is in looking for the right
qualities in a mate.
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