Proverbs: Friends & Friendships

Proverbs: Friends & Friendships

Introduction: What do the names: Harold Foster, Ricky Hicks, and Richard mean to you? Probably nothing for you never heard those names before. They were my childhood friends. If you started t list all your friends you would have different names and feelings. Your list and the length of it would depend on your definition of "friend" and "friendship." We tend to have casual friends and then close friends. Friendship is an important part of our lives due to our social nature. Most people need companionship of one type or another. Yet many have trouble making or keeping friends. The Bible instructs us about our friends and friendships.

I) We need to choose our friends carefully, Proverbs 12.26

A) Our friends are a reflection of us and on us

1. We can not choose our parents, brother/sisters, or other family members.

2. We do choose our friends. Therefore the friends we have say something about us.

B) What attracts you to certain type of people?

1. Usually common experiences, background, talents, family, etc.

a. If you are a hunter you have more in common with another hunter than a hairdresser

b. If you have young children you will be drawn to others with young children.

2. Friendships are intended to help us.

3. They can also hurt us, 1 Corinthians 15.33.

C) Proverbs 13.20

1. A person learns good and bad habits from their friends and peers, Proverbs 16.29

2. Examples: the way we say things, lingo, vulgarity, outburst of anger, manner of dress, honesty, etc.

II) Some friendships are temporary and not dependable, Proverbs 17.17

A) There are "sunshine friends" or "fair-weather friends"

1. The Prodigal Son had all kinds of friends as long has he had money. Luke 15

2. Real friends are those who will help in time of need.

3. In this passage the word "brother" is used to describe the closeness of the relationship.

B) Some other passages dealing with those that stick by us

1. They help us overcome trials, Ecc. 4.9-12

2. Help us overcome loneliness, Proverbs 27.17

3. They help us by pointing out our faults and sins, Galatians 6.1-2

4. We depend on them being honest with us, Proverbs 27.6

5. Flattery is seldom a sign of true friendship.

III) If You Want Friends You Must Be Friendly, Proverbs 18.24

A) In order to have friends we must put forth some effort

1. Friendships require work and time

2. The ability to forgive one another, and willingness to be inconvenienced.

B) There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother

**Some translations have a very different reading of this passage.

Prov 18:24 A man of many companions may come to ruin,

but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. NIV

Prov 18:24 A man of too many friends comes to ruin,

But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. NASU

1. It is the quality of friends and not the quantity that matters.

2. The ones with the most friends and the most popular person are often left by themselves.

3. We would often trade a handful of friends for one close friend.

IV) Friendships involves honesty, Proverbs 27.5-6

A) A true friend realizes their role is to be honest with you

1. Do not react harshly when a friend criticizes you .

B) Flattery is not a sign of friendship, Proverbs 29.5

C) You have to earn the right to criticize for it to be effective

1. Be careful of those that will tell you what you want to hear.

2. If a man will lie for you, he will lie to you.

V) Proverbs 27.10 proximity means a lot

A) In an emergency a neighbor close by is m ore beneficial than a distant brother

B) Sometimes the distance is not physical but spiritual

VI) Be careful of false greetings, Proverbs 27.14

A) This passage speaks about what is proper and improper in relationships

1. Goes back to how well we know somebody determines how we can act around them.

2. Somebody says, "make yourself at home" means to be comfortable but not literally to go and move in.

B) Many a friendship has been wrecked by one person taking advantage of another or intruding on another.

1. Friendship require personal space and disagreements.

2. Remember two ladies that decided to coach their daughter's ball team. By the end of the season they were barely talking to each other. Had to realize they could not do that together.

Conclusion: Five things people say matters the most in friendships are: trust, honesty, fun, understanding, and loyalty. The greatest friend one can have is Jesus. The one that sticks with us at all times is Jesus. John 15.13-14.

D.T. @ Westside Church of Christ 02.10.08

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