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Relationships With In-Laws

Introduction: Once I was asked to preach on family relationship and in particular "in-laws." My response was, "the Bible says as much about in-laws as it does bald headed men." Then 2 Kings 2.23 was pointed out to me. This causes me to think more about in-laws in the Bible. Fact is unless you are an orphan or married to an orphan, and never have children to get married, you will have an in-law relationship. Then a little later on Regena and I were visiting her Mom and Dad in Oklahoma. All of the family was there. At one time Ronnie, Bill, Doug, and I were in a room by ourselves. Let us look at some in-law relationship in the Bible and what we can learn from them.

1. Hear of father in-law and mother in-law jokes.

2. Usually the parents do not decide who their children will marry but their marriage partner does affect your life.

3. When you decide to get married you need to look at your in-laws.

1. When the Bible says leave and cleave in Genesis 2.24 it means you are to choose your mate over your parents. But the parents still exist.

2. We have to want to get along, Romans 12.18

3. Rules of engagement

    i. Understanding the first person you have to get along with is your mate and the second is their family.

    a. Each person answers for themselves not for the actions of their parents or brother or sister.

    b. Do not try to justify improper behavior

    c. Do not quarrel in from of others.

1. Often we think of other differently once they enter the family or are about to enter the family.

    a. It is not uncommon for a father to look at a young man differently after there is an engagement.

    b. Some times they get the benefit of the doubt and other time no benefit.

2. Jacob should have looked at the kind of man Laban was. Genesis 29.15

1. He switched daughters (that is bad)

2. Jacob worked for Laban which created problems, Genesis 29.26-28

1. He took the best of the herd at the expense of Laban.

1. They had to talk about their problems.

2. What they discovered:

    a. They were linked together by daughters/wives/children/grandchildren

    b. Neither one wanted to hurt their family

    c. Fighting among in-laws hurt those close to us

III) David and King Saul

A) David was Saul’s servant and the future king of Israel

1. Saul was already jealous of David.

2. We also see Saul thought lowly of his daughter and tried to use her to be a snare to David, 1 Samuel 18.17-21

B) Michal loved David but her father hated her husband, v. 28

1. She was trapped in the middle.

C) Michal was in many ways like her father

1. 2 Samuel 6.16, 20-23 you need to look at the family and understand their influence

D) Jonathan was David’s brother in-law

1. We read of the conflict between Jonathan and his father Saul, 1 Samuel 20

2. We read of the trust and love between Jonathan and David, 1 Samuel 18.1

    a. In-law relationships can be brutal and destructive

IV) Ruth and Naomi, Ruth 1.2,4,6

A) There was a bond between the two women, Ruth 1.15-17

1. Usually it takes time and effort for this kind of relationship to grow.

2. Trust and confidence are earned.

B) They go back to Canaan, Ruth 2.11-12

1. Wee see act of kindness and trust.

2. Naomi counseled Ruth and Ruth was taking care of Naomi, v. 20.

V) Peter and His Mother In-Law, Mark 1.29-31

A) She was apparently part of his household

1. The responsibility of "honoring one’s parents" places responsibilities for us to take care of our mother/father in-laws.

2. In-laws are connected through a third part. They are not the center of attention but they come along with the marriage.

Conclusion: Takes time and effort to have a good relationship, and sometimes a lot of space.

D.T. @ Westside Church of Christ 06.17.07